I guess I just had not though of anything interesting, and I am not truly sure that I have anything great to say tonight either. But tonight I did go to an art show.
Yes, those strange events in which people drink and eat for no charge, and while doing so they look around to find themselves trapped in a room full of ''art'', and feel compelled, maybe obliged, to look, appreciate and/criticize what surrounds them. Some do go for the ''art,'' I hope, but at least I certainly enjoyed my evening.
Maybe I am being way too critical, maybe literacy has spoiled my brain, but I could not help but think how many things of what I saw could be better. I commented what I thought could be changed to my friends, and then noticed how overly presumptuous it was to think that way. I should just let it be, like The Beatles song, but I couldn’t. My brain kept dictating, and I voiced out the words. And some how, for the same reason that I cannot just look at something without revising its every inch and considering concept, sometimes I think academia has actually taught me what I did not want to learn.
I started to consider this as we drove away from the galleries, and I somehow related it all to my long process this past two months creating my latest sculpture. At first a time-based installation, now something else completely, this piece has taken me so long!
Every inch, every layer, every small piece of wood, everything had been well though of, everything had its meaning or purpose. The more I cut and put together, the more I would consider what the piece in its entirety would be, and consequently, the more complicated it would get. Until very recently I noticed I was not going to be able to do what I wanted. I was so upset!!
I had thought it through so well, I really wanted to see this piece happen, and I still do, but for the sake of time, I have to hurry myself up and make something different, which I have luckily already figured out. At first I felt pretty disappointed and a bit like a failure, but then I noticed how ridiculous that was. These things happen!
So, back to my main point, maybe I am thinking too much. Maybe that is making me go slower in the process of creation, but it has sped up the process of creativity. In a day I will get at least three ideas for pieces I would really like to realize, and that is good. This is good. I believe I am doing well. OK. I could be doing better… much better… but I am doing OK, and that's good enough as of now.